Twelve months ago I didnt know. I didnt know how my life would be so different now. I didnt know the sound of your voice. I didnt know the sound of your breathing or the sound of your yawn. I didnt know that sound that lights up the entire world, your laugh. And I definitely did know the sound of your meal time screeching (yikes!). I didn't know those dimples and that tiny chin and your chubby cheeks and your blue eyes. Boy do I love those eyes.
Twelve Months ago today my life was completely different. I hadnt met you yet. How is it even possible that tomorrow you will be one year old? I have held you, rocked you, felt you, fed you, squeezed you, kissed you, and loved you every moment of every day for the last 364 days and its hard to remember what life was like before you were born. You are part of who I am and I dont know what it feels like to not have you around. I just know I feel more complete now than I have ever felt before. I keep telling myself you are my teeny tiny little bitty itty bitty baby boy, but the fact is, tomorrow is your first birthday and this year has flew by too fast.
Twelve months ago today I knew you were coming because I was being induced the next morning. Twelve months ago today was a Sunday. Daddy and I double checked our hospital bags and made sure we had everything we thought we would need. We had dinner together, the last dinner as a family of two. I dont remember what we ate but after that we watched impractical jokers on the television. Twelve months ago today we slept on the couch because we were too nervous to go to bed. And because you kept bouncing on my bladder and I just couldnt bring myself to do the steps all night long.
Twelve months ago I couldn't wait to meet you. I always told myself I would never 'wish this baby was out of me' (or something like that that women always say). I never thought I would get to have a baby or carry a baby so I knew I would never wish you out of my belly. As sick as I was all those months and as much as you tried to break my ribs, I knew I was the luckiest mommy in the whole world to have you in my belly and I would never wish for that to end.
From day one I have loved every second of life. Even the nights where I didnt think you would ever stop nursing or the days that you just want to be held. So tonight, when you are awake and crying about your teeth, I will cherish every single second because I know some day you wont want to be held anymore. I will take a picture in my mind, like I have every single time before and I will burn that in to my memory so that I never ever forget one single moment. Because before I know it, another year will be flying by just like this one.
In less than a day, you will be one. One whole year with us as your parents. Thank you for making our life so wonderfully complete.
Photographer, artist, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, granddaughter, foodie, dreamer... in no particular order.....